Yup. You’ve seen it. Tiffani blogged about. Jean blogged about it. Brianna blogged about. Jennifer blogged about it. There’s plenty more out there for you to see. In the off chance that you missed it, that you haven’t seen the video let me just give you a link to the douche-baggery that is making the rounds on the internet. Sure I could post the video here, but my blog is pretty and that would just ugly it up.
This video hurt me so deeply that I cannot move forward until I write about it. Until I say the things that I am feeling. When I hear him read that letter my gut wrenches. I spent the better part of last night being incredibly grouchy and had to go for that extra glass of wine. How could someone treat a child this way? Here is some of what this man is guilty of:
- Publicly humiliating his daughter
- Total disregard for a child’s feelings
- Calling his own child names
- Conditional Parenting and Love
- Destruction of personal property
- Possibly using his daughter to gain media attention
- Emotional abuse
I hear many of the same complaints I had as a teenager. I hear many of the same complaints many teenagers have. Most of us know what it’s like to be a teenager and not feel heard or like we are not in control of our own lives. I am sad for this child. I am sad for the hell she has to live in. Being grounded for months at a time for publicly complaining about her parents? What the fuck kind of dictatorship is Tommy Jordan running over there?
The gun. He pulled a fucking gun on her laptop. I’m extremely pro-gun! I even own one myself. However, using a gun out of anger to solve a problem is extremely scary and ridiculously violent. This is not a stable man. I fear what he would do if his daughter skipped classes or took drugs or worse… had sex.
This folks, is emotional abuse. This is a man beating his daughter so far down that I can only imagine what it’s going to take to bring her back up. If in fact she realizes that she can, come back up. I picture her crying in her room, feeling helpless, alone, and unloved. I’d love to wrap my arms around her and tell her that not all parents treat their children this way. That she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. That there are many of us who support her. I wish I could tell Tommy Jordan, and have him listen, that there is a better way. Somehow I doubt he’s interested in it.
He has punished her before, why didn’t he see it didn’t work? It didn’t make her love him anymore. It didn’t make her respect him anymore. It only made things worse. So for each thing she does wrong in his eyes he is only going to be meaner and more horrible toward his own daughter. This is an incredibly sad state of affairs. Really? Can’t we do better than this?
“I blew half my day on your laptop”. When I do things for my children it brings me great joy. When I spend half the day fixing something of theirs it’s because I love them and they need me. It’s not conditional; it’s me being a parent. If they get mad at me the next day I won’t reverse what I did.
Have you read the comments? I’ve seen an INSANE amount of support for this guy! They keep mentioning how disrespectful the girl was and how she was trashing her parents. That’s not what I hear though. I hear a teenager venting her anger over her many responsibilities and venting her frustrations with her words. I don’t even want to believe it. At what point in a child’s life do they become the enemy? At what point to we stop listening and understanding and start expecting? The comments are disturbing and show a lot of animosity toward children and teenagers. I imagine it’s because most of them, including Tommy Jordan, were not allowed to be children themselves.
Do you see and hear how hard he is breathing? How angry he is over his daughter’s words? The words upset him greatly. He is angry because his daughter is angry at him. There is something terribly wrong with that. Yet, instead of taking the time to try and repair his relationship with his daughter he further solidified the dysfunctional connection they will most likely always have.
I posted this link on my facebook page with these words: “If you support treating children this way, we are NOT friends. Please unfriend me right away.” I wasn’t kidding. This guy is abusive and if I have people on my list that are pro-abuse than I cannot be friends with that person. I do understand that my friends and I have a wide range of differences in our parenting opinions and styles. I’m really OK with that. However, I do not tolerate abuse, physical or emotional.
Somewhere in a comment or a follow up video Tommy Jordan has stated that his daughter is OK with this now. Well, remember this article? Congratulations Tommy Jordan, you just broke your child.